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Trump Declares 10% Trade War Against Penguins in Antarctica—Penguins Respond
An Industry Insider
Apr 3
3 min read
BREAKING: Female Cop Suspended After Watching Violent Mob Attack Like It’s a Pay-Per-View Event
Mike Honcho
Mar 28
3 min read
Connecticut Lawmakers Declare War on Plastic Utensils, Styrofoam Containers—Because Clearly, the Real Enemy Was Always the Spork
Mike Honcho
Mar 27
3 min read
California’s Composting Bill Unites Politicians, Enrages Mustache-Twirling Villain—Captain Planet “Still Dead,” Sources Confirm
Jeremy Borings #1 Fan
Mar 25
2 min read
Inflation Cools, Hell’s CFO Hak Tuye Vows to Reignite Economic dumpster Fire
An Industry Insider
Mar 15
3 min read
Why Women Should Rule the World’s Hard Hats and Men Should Master the Oven: A Modest Proposal for a Post-Women’s Day Era
Chad Flex IV
Mar 13
4 min read
Christian Iraq/Syrians Being Murdered and run out from homes - Is it time for another crusade?
Mike Honcho
Mar 12
5 min read
Former Olympic Snowboarder Competing in FBI’s ‘Most Wanted’ Decathlon, Judges Report He’s ‘Crushing the powder Slalom’
Jeremy Borings #1 Fan
Mar 8
4 min read
White House Meeting Ends quickly after Zelenskyy Can’t Reach Floor; Trump Declares ‘No Deal for the Garden Gnome.
An Industry Insider
Feb 28
2 min read
Open Letter from a Nonprofit CEO: “The Feds Are Ruining our Vibe
Jeremy Borings #1 Fan
Feb 24
3 min read
“Lovin’ Every Minute of It”: Florida Man Declares Trump’s Executive Orders ‘Best Thing Since Gator Wrasslin’
Mike Honcho
Feb 17
4 min read
Los Angeles Homeowners Thrilled to Rebuild Identical House for Third Time, Now with ‘Fire-Resistant’ Stickers
Mike Honcho
Feb 10
3 min read
2030 Construction Equipment Forecast Market to Hit $194.78 Billion, Industry Assures Apophis Comet Definitely Won’t Ruin Everything
Thaddeus Steelcroft
Feb 4
5 min read
BREAKING NEWS: American Construction Workers Overwhelmingly Reject Unions.
Jeremy Borings #1 Fan
Feb 3
3 min read
Senator Wiener Blames Big Oil for Everything Short of Your Uncle’s Bad BBQ Decisions
Mike Honcho
Jan 29
3 min read
Apocalypse Now or Just LA on Fire? Interdimensional Beings, Comet-Eating Bears, and the Wildest Apophis Conspiracy Yet
An Industry Insider
Jan 27
4 min read
Colorado Proposes New Rules to Curb Methane Emissions by Asking Cows to Fart into Paper Bags
Chad Flex IV
Jan 24
2 min read
West Virginia Officially Declares Dr. Flat Surface, King of Equipment Opinions
Mike Honcho
Jan 23
3 min read
BREAKING NEWS: Copper Goblin Assassinated at Trump Inauguration: JD Vance Pulls a ‘Die Hard,’ Biden Caught Mid-Sniff.
Canadian Joe
Jan 23
2 min read
Trump’s “Two Gender” Executive Order Sparks Outrage, Causing Confusion Among Lot Lizard Community
Thaddeus Steelcroft
Jan 22
3 min read
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