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North Pole Hit by Mass “Quiet Firing” as Santa Outsources Toys to Amazon Fulfillment Centers
Canadian Joe
2 days ago
2 min read
White Dad Tormented by Guilt, Hunts “Decolonized” Leaf Blower So Wife’s Sleepover Friend Reggie Can Nap Without Microaggressions
Mike Honcho
Nov 24
1 min read
Local Woman Spends 45 Minutes in Line Only to Remember She Was in Line for Literally Nothing
Mike Honcho
Nov 7
2 min read
Local Dog Joins “No Kings” Rally, Is Kicked Out for Not Being a Human
Mike Honcho
Oct 20
3 min read
BREAKING NEWS: Tiffany Fong’s Elbow Crushes Jimmy Kimmel’s Ratings—Disney is still acting retarded.
Mike Honcho
Sep 24
3 min read
The Indiana Fever’s Secret Weapon: Friendship (and Possibly Magic)
Veronica Vaugh Sandler II
Sep 23
2 min read
Men carrying water jugs everywhere is trending deemed "cult of Hydration"
Mike Honcho
Sep 19
3 min read
BREAKING: Bradley Cooper Masters the Art of Multitasking, Prioritizes Eagles Over Date Night
Veronica Vaugh Sandler II
Sep 18
2 min read
The Left Thigh Conspiracy: Why Every Woman Gets One Giant Tattoo There (and Why It’s Stupid)
Canadian Joe
Sep 12
5 min read
Two Predators, One Bathroom: How Diddy & R. Kelly Could Finally Pay the Public Back
An Industry Insider
Aug 29
4 min read
Jordan Peterson’s Toronto Palace Hits the Block: Trading Moose for Rattlesnakes in a Desert Exodus
Chad Flex IV
Aug 27
4 min read
United Credit Union Awards $20,000 in Scholarships to High School Seniors Who Perfected 4-Story Beer Bong Physics
Veronica Vaugh Sandler II
Aug 26
3 min read
Sydney Sweeney’s Used Mouthwash Now Leading Global Waste Reduction Strategy, Study Claims
Mike Honcho
Aug 21
3 min read
Nancy Pelosi, Self-Appointed Gender Wizard, Declares War on Biology with Trans Flag and a Dream
An Industry Insider
Aug 14
4 min read
Denmark Zoo Asks for Pet Donations So Lions Can Enjoy Farm-to-Table Experience
Canadian Joe
Aug 5
5 min read
Local Moose Refuses to Move From Hiking Trail, Claims ‘Squatter’s Rights’
Mike Honcho
Jul 30
4 min read
10 Reasons Your Wife’s Cat Is Definitely Trying to Kill You
Mike Honcho
Jul 8
5 min read
Why My Family Skipped Celebrating July 4th this year to Honor July 5th National Bikini Day Instead
An Industry Insider
Jul 3
4 min read
The Future of Household Chores: Husband-3000
Veronica Vaugh Sandler II
Jun 28
2 min read
OpEd: Trump’s $499 “T1 Freedom Phone” Is a Bedazzled Dumpster Fire of Hypocrisy, Brought to You by the People’s Republic of China
An Industry Insider
Jun 17
3 min read
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