FAQ

Hard Hat Kings is your go-to spot for construction and industrial satire with a newsy twist. You’ll get sharp takes, absurd headlines, and industry jokes that hit a little too close to home. Looking for dry, corporate filler? Wrong site. Looking for a laugh with your hard hat on? You’re in the right place.

Not exactly. You’re reading satire built from real-world news and industry quirks, then seasoned with a very unserious amount of chaos. Enjoy the joke, appreciate the jab, but don’t treat it like breaking wire-service coverage. For the full rundown, check out our About Us page.

Absolutely. If you’ve got a real story, a tip, or an industry oddity worth turning into satire, send it our way. We only build from truthful material, so keep it legit. You’ll get credit, a little glory, and maybe some lukewarm coffee vibes. Send requests to hardhatkings@gmail.com and check the Submit a Story page for guidelines.

Not yet, but imagine T-shirts that say, “Safety Third,” coffee mugs that read, “This is Not OSHA-Approved,” and bumper stickers: “My Other Hard Hat is a Crown.” Sign up for our newsletter to be the first to know when we launch!

You’re talking to people from the OEM side of Construction & Material Handling Equipment, with a background in marketing and selling the gear—not swinging a hammer on a crew. So no, you won’t get fake-guru cosplay here. You will get industry-savvy satire from people who know the business.

Without a doubt, the plumb bob. It’s just a weight on a string, yet it demands respect like it’s a laser-guided missile. Its also 3,000 years old.

If you want your brand in front of construction and industrial readers, you’re in the right place. Email us at hardhatkings@gmail.com, and we’ll point you to our Advertise With Us page for the details. Tools, safety gear, services, and other jobsite essentials? We’re listening.

We tried, but they kept ghosting us, claiming they were "in the conduit." Maybe one day we'll crack their code!

First, you must ascend the Ladder of Destiny (it’s a 12-footer, rated Type IA). Then, successfully argue with an inspector without shedding tears. Finally, declare yourself King during a morning huddle and record it on social media and send it to us. Bonus points if nobody challenges you.

Firm. Very firm.

It’s part of a secret construction rite of passage. You’re not a real tradesperson until you’ve creatively repurposed a shop rag, a blueprint, or yesterday’s lunch receipt.

Foremen don’t drink coffee—they absorb it through sheer willpower. That thermos? Just for show. Real foremen generate caffeine naturally through stress and yelling.

Absolutely. Emotional support hammers are encouraged but if co-workers know it, it may walk away, because that's stupid. FYI as long as they’re union-certified in union towns and don’t break during a dramatic framing scene, shouldn't be an issue. However emotional support jackhammers are banned for obvious reasons.

Show up with donuts, properly pronounce "excavator," and casually mention that you “tightened a few bolts” on the Golden Gate Bridge. Bonus points if you call someone a rookie for using a tape measure with inches and centimeters.

Yes. To add media follow these steps: 1. Manage FAQs from your site dashboard or in the Editor 2. Create a new FAQ or edit an existing one 3. From the answer text box click on the video, image or GIF icon 4. Add media from your library and save.

You can edit the title from the FAQ 'Settings' tab in the Editor. To remove the title from your mobile app go to the 'Site & App' tab in your Owner's app and customize.