Love at First Rev: Man Considers Leaving Wife for Cummins X15 Engine

"It’s Red, Sexy, and Would Look Killer in My ‘85 Gremlin’"

That X15 Oh Yeah

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"Imagine my Gremlin, with a big red X15 stickin' out of the front." -Darryl Jenkins

SPRINGFIELD, MO—In a shocking midlife crisis twist, local mechanic and part-time "Back to the Future" cosplayer Darryl Jenkins has reportedly fallen head over heels for Cummins’ new X15 diesel engine, going so far as to seriously consider leaving his wife of 22 years for it.

"Look, Linda’s great when she's asleep, but does she make 700 horsepower and 2,360 lb-ft of torque? No.

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Does she have a high-efficiency HE550 turbocharger? Also no," Jenkins mused, stroking a promotional brochure like it was a centerfold from Heavy-Duty Truckin’ Magazine. "And the X15 is red. Linda hasn’t worn red since our honeymoon in Branson."

Love at First Rev

Jenkins claims he first laid eyes on the X15 at the Springfield Farm & Fleet Expo, where it was "just sitting there, glistening under the fluorescent lights, begging to be stuffed into something irresponsible."

"I got weak in the knees," he admitted. "I mean, this thing’s got 10% better fuel economy than the last model. Linda’s fuel economy has gone way down since the kids moved out."

Cummins says that the new engine offers the longest service intervals in the industry.

"It Would Blow Women’s Clothes Off at the Old Home"

Jenkins, who owns a highly modified 1985 AMC Gremlin he calls "The Grinch," insists that dropping the X15 under the hood would "make Doc Brown wish he’d invented this instead of a time-traveling DeLorean."

"Imagine rolling up to the Shady Pines Retirement Village with this bad boy rumbling," he said, eyes glazing over. "The torque alone would peel orthopedic socks off at 50 yards. Ms. Jackson wouldn’t know what hit her."

"Linda Says I Need Therapy. I Say I Need a Turbo."

Love at First Rev:

Jenkins’ wife, Linda, remains unimpressed.

"He keeps whispering ‘prognostic maintenance’ in his sleep," she sighed. "Last week, he tried to cuddle the lawnmower. I’m not even mad anymore, I’m just disappointed."

Despite her concerns, Jenkins remains committed to his new love, even going so far as to clear out the garage ("That’s where Linda’s ‘stupid pottery wheel’ was") to make room for his future engine-wife.

Cummins’ Official Response: "We Do Not Endorse This"

When reached for comment, a Cummins spokesperson said, "Look, the X15 is a highly advanced piece of machinery, not a homewrecker. That being said, if Darryl wants to trade in his marriage for longer service intervals and over-the-air updates**, that’s between him and God."

What’s Next for Darryl?

Jenkins has reportedly started a GoFundMe titled "Help Me Ditch My Wife for a Cummins, Oh Yeah" and is already planning his new life with the X15.

"We’ll drive cross-country, just me and Shirley (that’s what I’m naming her)," he said dreamily. "We’ll stop at every truck stop and weigh station along the way. Maybe pick up a lot lizard or two, just to keep things spicy."

Moral of the Story?

If your marriage is on the rocks, maybe don’t fall in love with an engine. Or do. We’re not your therapist.

Available now at www.cummins.com.

Divorce lawyers not included.