Skip Honcho : Players to start and sit for NFL Week 7

week7

0:00

Rome showin' the Raiders how to win an NFL game.

Alright, buckle up buttercups it’s your old pal Skip Honcho, live from a smoke-filled Buffalo Wild Wings, holding a parlay ticket that’s already on fire and a fantasy roster that looks like a FEMA report.

Let’s talk about these “expert” fantasy football picks for Week 7, shall we? Because if I hear one more analyst tell me to “trust the matchup,” I’m gonna start trusting only my gut, my bookie, and the ghost of 2019 Christian McCaffrey.

Quarterbacks: The "Smart" Play (If You Hate Money)

Start: Jared Goff, Lions vs Buccaneers

Oh sure, start Goff. Why not? He’s at home, indoors, surrounded by weapons, feeling good… the perfect setup for him to throw a pick-six on the first drive and then hand the ball off 37 times because Dan Campbell found a new protein shake recipe.

Skip’s Alternative Plan™:

Roll with Caleb Williams vs Saints, because if I’m losing, I’d rather do it with a rookie who looks cool doing it. Or, you know, start Jayden Daniels just for the chaos. He’s either giving you 28 points or a concussion scare by halftime. It’s the Skip Honcho experience.

Avoid: Trevor Lawrence, Jaguars vs Rams

Yeah, don’t start him. Also, don’t trade him. Don’t touch him. Don’t even look at him. The man’s flying across the Atlantic to play in a foggy field that smells like tea and regret.

Skip’s Alternative Plan™:

Bet the under and take a nap.

🏃‍♂️ Running Backs: AKA "The Emotional Support Section"

Start: JK Dobbins, Broncos vs Giants

Love Dobbins, great guy, nice smile… but the man’s body is made out of paper straws. Every carry feels like a GoFundMe waiting to happen. “But the Giants defense is bad!” Yeah, so are my life choices, but here we are.

Skip’s Alternative Plan™:

Start literally any backup RB you can find who plays in a dome. Dome = less sadness. That’s science.

Other Locks: Quinshon Judkins, Jaylen Warren, Jordan Mason — sure, go ahead, ruin your Sunday early.

Avoid: Travis Etienne, Jaguars vs Rams

“Etienne’s due for a bounce-back!” Yeah, and I’m due for a functioning liver. Ain’t happening this week.

📡 Wide Receivers: AKA "Please Throw to My Guy, PLEASE"

Start: Rome Odunze, Bears vs Saints

Love this one. Nothing says “trustworthy WR1” like a rookie catching passes from a quarterback who still uses Apple Maps.

Skip’s Alternative Plan™:

Start Davante Adams because he’s mad all the time and plays like it. Or take Drake London, because the Falcons are finally realizing “Hey, maybe the tall guy should get the ball.”

Avoid: Tetairoa McMillan, Panthers vs Jets

McMillan’s going up against Sauce Gardner. That’s like trying to run a 5K in quicksand. Don’t do it. Save yourself.

💪 Tight Ends: The Weekly Lottery Ticket

Start: Harold Fannin Jr., Browns vs Dolphins

I love a good “hot tight end” pick — mostly because it reminds me I didn’t start him last week. Sure, Dillon Gabriel’s looking his way, but let’s not act like this isn’t going to end with three targets and two tears.

Skip’s Alternative Plan™:

Forget all these names. Just stream whoever’s playing against the Cardinals or Bengals. Or better yet, start a kicker in your TE slot out of protest.

Avoid: Juwan Johnson, Saints vs Bears

Johnson’s fantasy value is like my credit score: it peaked in 2022 and hasn’t been seen since.

Skip Honcho’s Alternative Week 7 Strategy

Forget start/sit. You want to win fantasy? Here’s how you play it:

Stack your DFS lineup with chaos: Pick everyone who plays in the 4:25 slot so you can feel something later in the day.

Draft beer, not players: Michelob Light never fumbles.

Bet the over on vibes: Unders are for cowards and accountants.

Start your kicker against your opponent’s defense. It’s psychological warfare, baby.

If you’re down bad Monday night, live-bet something stupid. Like “next drive ends in a fumble.” It won’t fix your record, but it’ll fix your soul.

Fantasy football isn’t about who starts or sits. It’s about who tilts the hardest while pretending to “trust the process.” And as your fearless degenerate guide, Skip Honcho says this:

Play dumb. Bet reckless. And always blame the coach.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a 9-leg parlay that hinges on a punter over/under. Let’s ride.

But if you want to join me on a crazy bet experience my cash app account is REDACTED. (HHK will not allow anyone to give money to skip honcho...)