JCB CEO Issues Memo About Making a Memo About Memos, Sparks Corporate Inception

Memo

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From JCB's 2013 Calender. Don't ask why.

In a move that has left shareholders, employees, and one confused office plant questioning reality itself, JCB CEO Sir Dig-a-Lot (name changed for legal reasons) has issued a company-wide memo outlining the need for a communication plan—specifically for the purpose of writing memos.

The memo, distributed via email, carrier pigeon, and smoke signals to ensure maximum reach, begins with a bold proclamation:

"Effective immediately, all memos regarding operational efficiency, strategic vision, and lunch options must be preceded by a memo about how we will write the memo."

Company insiders say the announcement has created a “memo feedback loop” of such intensity that some employees reportedly forgot what the original memo was about.

Corporate Inception Continued...

"I started drafting a memo on the memo plan, then I needed a memo to approve the memo on the memo plan, and now I’m three memos deep and counting," said one mid-level manager, who requested anonymity for fear of being promoted into memo purgatory.

According to the CEO, this initiative is part of JCB’s ongoing strategy to “optimize communication while minimizing actual clarity.” The plan reportedly includes:

Weekly workshops on “How to Memo Like a Memo-ster”

Another photo.

A Slack channel named #Memoception

Mandatory daily reflections on whether your memo properly acknowledges the memo hierarchy

Corporate Inception: Industry analysts are calling it “the most ambitious memo initiative since NASA sent memos to each other about sending memos to the moon.” One consultant even speculated that if fully implemented, it could reduce workplace productivity by approximately 97%—the exact amount needed to finally have time to watch cat videos during working hours.

When asked if the memo might be confusing employees, the CEO reportedly replied:

"Confusion is a feature, not a bug. If everyone is equally bewildered, then communication is perfectly balanced."

In unrelated news, JCB HR has already scheduled a meeting to write a memo about scheduling a meeting to discuss the memo plan memo.