Hollywood’s Best Picture Winner Proves Yet Again That Hollywood Hates You

Hollywood hates you

0:00

The trophies complained about inappropriate touching. - Best picture team at Oscars 2025.

Well, folks, they’ve done it again. Hollywood’s most powerful, most out-of-touch, most insufferable elites gathered in a room to pat themselves on the back for making a movie that approximately twelve people outside of Los Angeles watched—and half of those were film students who still think owning a Criterion Collection is a personality trait. The winner of Best Picture? Anora. Yes, the movie that critics hailed as a "bold and daring exploration of human something-or-other," but which normal humans described as "garbage, a cinematic equivalent of watching paint dry while someone whispers Nietzsche quotes in your ear."

And yet, here we are, watching the Academy smugly parade this boring, pretentious, morale bankrupt mess around like it’s the second coming of All Dogs Go to Heaven. Spoiler alert: it’s not. This is the problem with Hollywood—they don’t make movies for you anymore. They make movies for .03% of humans, for gays, for trans people, for film festival snobs, and for critics who think an 18-minute-long, silent shot of someone staring at a wall is “transcendent.” (Spoiler: it’s not transcendent. It’s stupid.)

Let’s be real. Hollywood is so far removed from its audience that they probably think “middle America” is a theme park of racists. The truth is the average person just wants to sit down after a long day, crack open a beer or a LaCroix, if you’re fancy, and watch something that doesn’t involve two hours of whispered dialogue about the metaphysical burden of human existence. But instead, we get Anora, a film the Academy swears is "important" and "necessary"—which, as we all know, is code for "You won’t enjoy this, but if you don’t pretend to like it, we’ll call you uncultured."

Meanwhile, the only legitimately great movie of the year, A Real Pain, didn’t win Best Picture because—heaven forbid—a movie with actual humor, a morale core, heart, and an audience gets the top prize. But at least Kieran Culkin, a man of the people, used his Oscar speech to convince his wife to have two more kids. That’s the kind of leadership America needs. Forget Batman—Kieran Culkin is the hero we deserve. He didn’t waste his moment crying about the “artistic process.” No, he just said, “Hey, honey, remember what you said, let’s make more babies.” That’s American energy. That’s the Oscar that was deserved.

The Oscars used to be a celebration of movies that mattered to everyday people. Now, they’re a gathering of self-righteous millionaires in ugly designer suits, giving golden trophies to movies no one saw, directed by people who have never held a real job in their lives. (Unless you count “consulting on a script about the struggles of being a gender-fluid mime in a capitalist society” as a real job.) They don’t make films to entertain or inspire anymore; they make films to lecture. It’s cinematic propaganda made by people who have probably never once said a prayer unless it was to sell their souls for a distribution deal.

Hollywood keeps telling us that these movies are "representations of America." No, they’re not. Anora isn’t who we are. It’s who they are—bored, lifeless, soulless, and terminally insufferable. If Hollywood really cared about its audience, we’d see a return of small-budget, self-produced films made by people who actually live in reality, not in a coastal echo chamber where a “hard day’s work” means staring at a script about a gender-fluid mime’s struggles with capitalism.

And let’s not forget the hosts of these awards, the comedians who are no longer allowed to tell jokes because some actor’s publicist is worried that their client, a professional performer, might not be able to handle a joke. Remember when Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Globes and told these celebrities to get over themselves? The man was a prophet and may have survived a assignation attempt because of it. Since then, Hollywood has only doubled down on its self-importance despite declining box office sales and losing the attention of everyone under 30. The Oscars aren’t about movies anymore—they’re about a very rich, very small group of people trying to convince the rest of us that their personal therapy sessions deserve a $100 million budget and a golden statue. Keep in mind "Hollywood" is the wood that witches make their harry potter wands out of, or maestro's use to control symphonies, not a coincidence.

If Hollywood really wanted to make movies for the people, we’d see more fun, high-quality entertainment instead of two-hour-long existential crises with no plot. Imagine if The Dark Knight came out today—it would be deemed “problematic” because Batman doesn’t stop mid-fight scene to discuss wage inequality or discuss DEI strategy with the Joker. Die Hard would be canceled because John McClane isn’t wearing a mask in the Nakatomi Plaza. (And don’t even get me started on Home Alone—Kevin McCallister would be in therapy for “trauma” instead of setting up booby traps.)

The truth is, the people don’t need the Oscars or Hollywood anymore. We have streaming, we have independent filmmakers, we have content creators who actually understand what audiences want. Hollywood isn’t the cultural gatekeeper anymore, and that drives them crazy. So, they’ll keep making movies for each other, and we’ll keep ignoring them.

Until then, the Oscars will continue to be a self-important mess, and we’ll continue to pretend to care just long enough to read the list of winners before moving on with our lives. Well—except for Kieran Culkin. He’s a class act.

Folks, if you like movies, ignore the Oscars, ignore stupid people, filter your Netflix accounts, and pay attention to the stories, that actually uplift and bring positive growth for your life. Because Hollywood isn’t interested in making them anymore. And if they keep this up, they’ll be lucky if anyone is watching.