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BREAKING: What To Do If You Lose Your Group at CONEXPO-CON/AGG 2026
- Mike Honcho
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
A Completely Serious Survival Guide for the World’s Largest Construction Equipment Maze
LAS VEGAS — With 2,000 exhibitors, 150+ education sessions, 2.9 million square feet of exhibits, and approximately one billion identical-looking hard hats, experts agree that losing your group at CONEXPO-CON/AGG is not a possibility — it is a rite of passage.
If you have suddenly found yourself alone somewhere between a hydraulic hammer demonstration and a man explaining telematics like it’s a religion, don’t panic. Industry professionals have developed the following scientifically questionable strategies to help you reunite with your people.
Step 1: Accept That You Now Live Here
With 2.9 million square feet of exhibits, you are no longer “lost.” You are simply a small independent nation located between Booth W41200 and a forklift doing donuts for safety reasons.
Choose a piece of equipment to emotionally bond with. Name it. Tell it your hopes. It will understand you better than your coworkers ever did.
Step 2: Remove Your Pants and Yell “GARY HAVE YOU SEEN GARY SMITH?”
Security experts say this dramatically increases visibility and ensures you become the most memorable person at the industry’s largest networking event.
Stand on a demo track. Cup your hands. Scream into the void:
“GAAAARRRYYY! HAVE YOU SEEN GARY SMITH?!”
Within minutes you will be surrounded by:
Concerned exhibitors
Five confused journalists
At least three other people also named Gary
Congratulations. You are now networking.
Step 3: Use Your Pants to Create Emergency Smoke Signals
If screaming fails, build a small symbolic “distress signal” using:
Your abandoned dignity
A half-empty swag bag
A brochure from an education session you didn’t attend
Wave your pants in the air to create dramatic visual signals. Bonus points if you spell “HELP” in reflective safety vests while whispering, “I just wanted a free pen.”
Step 4: Attend All 150+ Education Sessions Until Gary Appears
Experts confirm Gary will eventually show up to at least one session titled:
“The Future of Autonomous Something”
“Telematics but Louder”
“How to Nod During a Demo While Understanding Nothing”
By session #127 you will either find Gary or achieve enlightenment.
Step 5: Visit Lost and Found
Ask if anyone turned in:
One mildly confused middle-aged man
Wearing company-branded polos
Carrying exactly 47 stress balls and a tape measure he doesn’t remember receiving
The Lost and Found staff have seen everything. They once reunited a regional sales manager with his dignity. Miracles happen here.
Step 6: Kidnap Someone Else’s Friend (Networking Strategy)
Approach a group confidently and say:
“Hey guys, sorry I’m late.”
If nobody questions you within five minutes, congratulations — you have been adopted by a new construction family. Exchange LinkedIn profiles and accept your new destiny selling aggregate screening attachments in Nebraska.
Step 7: Blend In With the 2,000 Exhibitors
Pick a random booth. Nod knowingly. Say things like:
“Interesting torque curve.”
“We’re evaluating options.”
“I’ll circle back after lunch.”
Eventually Gary will walk by and say, “Chris? Why are you pretending to work here?”
Mission accomplished.
Step 8: Remember Why You Came — The Ultimate Industry Reunion
CONEXPO is the largest industry networking event, meaning statistically:
You will run into former coworkers
Your old boss
That competitor who owes you lunch
And somehow… three other people from your hometown
One of them will know Gary. Probably.
Step 9: Drink All the Craft Beers in the Beer Garden (Advanced Navigation Technique)
If Gary still hasn’t been located, proceed directly to the CONEXPO Beer Garden — widely recognized as the unofficial command center for lost construction professionals, overconfident demo operators, and at least one guy who insists he “almost bought that excavator.”
Begin sampling craft beers with the calm determination of a project manager reviewing change orders. After Beer #2, you will become convinced Gary is probably at the asphalt booth. After Beer #4, you will be absolutely certain you are Gary. After Beer #6, you will have formed a startup with three strangers called “Disruptive Aggregate Solutions.”
Final Emergency Protocol
After hours of wandering through 2.9 million square feet, speaking to 2,000 exhibitors, and attending 150+ sessions, you may realize something shocking…
You have a small glowing rectangle in your pocket.
It’s called a phone.
Use it to call Gary.
Helpful additional "field tactics" include:
Standing on a picnic table and announcing: “WHO HERE KNOWS A GARY SMITH?”
Agreeing to six future golf outings you will never attend
Accidentally solving someone else’s labor shortage while holding a pretzel the size of a skid steer tire
Statistically, one of the following will happen:
Gary finds you.
You find a new Gary.
You forget why Gary mattered and leave with 19 new business cards and a branded koozie that changes your life.
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