Local Man Celebrates 3rd Anniversary of Ignoring Government Emails He Thinks Are “Probably Spam”

Local Man Celeb

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Kyle Thompson, 32 throwing away 3rd Government notice.

SPRINGFIELD, USA — Residents of Springfield reported Tuesday that local man Kyle Thompson, 32, is marking the third consecutive year of deliberately ignoring official emails from the federal government, which he maintains are “probably spam anyway.”

“It’s been a long journey,” Thompson said, scrolling through his inbox with a sense of pride usually reserved for weddings and graduations. “Three years, not a single click, not a single attachment opened. And honestly? I feel great about it. Knowledge is power, but ignorance is bliss.”

Friends and family have praised Thompson’s steadfast commitment, calling it “truly inspirational” and “probably illegal in some very minor way.” His mother reportedly sends him reminders every few months about notices from the IRS, the Department of Motor Vehicles, and the Social Security Administration, all of which Thompson continues to dismiss with a casual shrug.

“I told him once, ‘Kyle, these are important. You might owe money, or you might need to renew your ID,’” said friend Marcus Lee. “And he just laughed and said, ‘Marcus, sometimes the best decisions are the ones you don’t make at all.’ Honestly, he might be onto something.”

Thompson, who has become somewhat of a local legend, has developed a rigorous system to maintain his streak:

All emails from addresses ending in “.gov” go straight to the trash folder.

Subject lines containing words like “urgent,” “action required,” or “official notice” are immediately flagged as “probably spam.”

Any PDFs attached are treated as dangerous artifacts and ignored completely.

Experts warn that ignoring government correspondence could have serious consequences, but Thompson remains unconcerned.

“Sure, I could get fined, audited, or… you know… arrested,” he admitted. “But I figure if it’s really that important, they’ll send a physical letter, or someone will knock on my door. Until then, I have Netflix and peace of mind.”

As of press time, Thompson had celebrated the milestone with a small party of close friends, complete with a “Spam-Free For 3 Years” cake and a slideshow of screenshots of unopened government emails. Attendees described the event as “touching, reckless, and slightly terrifying.”