BREAKING NEWS: Tiffany Fong’s Elbow Crushes Jimmy Kimmel’s Ratings—Disney is still acting retarded.

Fongs Elbow

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This Elbow photo has more views than Jimmy Kimmel averages.

LOS ANGELES, CA — In what media insiders are calling “the most humiliating defeat since NBC greenlit Lopez Tonight,” Tiffany Fong’s elbow has single-handedly or single-jointedly annihilated Jimmy Kimmel Live! in ratings, pulling 136,000 likes on X while Kimmel struggles to lure 126,000 half-asleep viewers (including, reportedly, his dentist).

The devastating upset occurred days before Kimmel’s suspension over his Charlie Kirk remarks, a controversy that somehow involved the FCC, Trump, and at least three celebrities who haven’t mattered since Blockbuster closed.

Meanwhile, Tiffany just posted an elbow. No monologue. No celebrity guest reading lines about “that time on set.” Just skin, bend, and glory.

Fong’s Elbow Crushes Jimmy Kimmel: Public Reactions to the Elbow’s Meteoric Rise

“It’s got more range than Jimmy’s entire writing staff,” said one X user, zooming in on the elbow crease like it was a Zapruder film.

“Kimmel’s show is a stale decaf latte. Disney hire Conan, force that guy to work till he dies, I heard he needs a friend. Dance Moneys, dance for the public!"

The elbow? Triple espresso. Straight to the funny bone,” wrote another.

“I’d rather watch two hours of live elbow on that pretty girl than five minutes of Jimmy fake-laughing at Matt Damon jokes,” confessed a barista who once accidentally turned on ABC after The Bachelor.

Disney’s clearly tone deaf and or terribly retarded.

Despite Tiffany’s elbow outperforming Kimmel’s primetime production, Disney announced Kimmel’s triumphant return. “We’ve had thoughtful conversations with Jimmy,” an ABC executive claimed, notably failing to add, “and we have definitely not seen the elbow.”

Leaked internal memos suggest panic: “What if the elbow starts a podcast?”

“Do we cancel Dancing With the Stars and greenlight Dancing With Elbows?”

It is clear that Disney is continued their tenure of being absolutely tone deaf and or terribly retarded.

Celebs Weigh In

Elon Musk commented, “Her elbow is hotter than Kimmel. Plus Zero emissions. 10x more efficient than Kimmel. We might name a boring tunnel after Fong's Elbow. Just to really troll Kimmel harder.”

We were also able to get President Donald Trump via Truth Social to weigh in:

“Sad! LOSER Kimmel destroyed by a crypto girl’s elbow. The elbow loves me. Jimmy does not. Elbow is greater than ABC.”

Fong’s Elbow Crushes Jimmy Kimmel: While Jimmy Kimmel’s ratings wheeze like a grandparent running a 5K, Tiffany’s elbow is a viral juggernaut bending the very fabric of late-night TV. The insider reportedly spent lunch trembling over the idea that a single joint could make decades of late-night jokes look like amateur hour at a daycare talent show.

Children are apparently also trying to bully Kimmel online. Twelve-year-old Bethany Anne reportedly commented: “If Jimmy Kimmel was my age, I guarantee we’d make him cry every day, kill yourself.” 

"Jimmy Kimmel is a lying little b*tch. He probably works for satan," said Timmy Nedson, 7 years old.

The sentiment is widespread. Elementary schools everywhere now rank the elbow higher than Jimmy Kimmel in lunchroom coolness charts. Even the class hamster is rumored to prefer watching Tiffany’s elbow over anything on ABC.

And the merch? Forget it. T-shirts read “Bend It Like Fong” and “Joint Custody > Jimmy Kimmel.” Parents are buying elbow pajamas for toddlers. Baristas are accidentally making “Elbow Lattes” and posting TikToks. Meanwhile, Kimmel is wandering around ABC like a man lost in a corn maze, script in hand, tears in eyes, trying to understand why a attractive woman's elbow is funnier than his entire career.

The elbow isn’t just funny it’s a cultural dominator. Jimmy Kimmel might be able to host a monologue, but the elbow? It flexes, it mesmerizes, it humiliates him without ever saying a word.

And honestly, it’s winning.

The Hot Take That Binds Us

Here’s the truth: Jimmy’s suspension saga was noisy, but Tiffany Fongs elbow was silent and the silence won the people. In a collapsing late-night landscape, America has chosen the raw hinge of authenticity over the canned chuckle of network television.

So go ahead, Disney, parade Jimmy back out there like a monkey humping a door nob. But when the nation tunes out and scrolls back to Tiffany’s joint, don’t say we didn’t warn you: the revolution will not be monologued. It will be elbowed.

Follow the flex that fixed late night here: https://x.com/TiffanyxFong.

Then Follow us Here: https://x.com/hardhatkings.

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