Sales Advice 103: How Badly Do You Want the Deal?

How badly do you want to close the deal?

Every sales trainer on Earth has said some version of the same thing:

“You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to close the deal.”

Okay.

Let's talk about that.

Because “whatever it takes” sounds inspirational until the customer actually starts making requests.

How Badly Do You Want It?

The customer wants a quote by Friday?

Get him the quote.

He wants a machine demonstration at 6:00 Saturday morning?

Set the alarm.

He wants you to drive four hours to demonstrate the cup holder because he doesn't trust the pictures?

Put gas in the truck.

He wants you to deliver the machine during a thunderstorm?

Bring an umbrella.

He wants you to dig a trench for his grandmother?

Get the shovel.

He wants you to dig the trench while covered in baby oil?

Now we have questions.

But you're a professional. You take a deep breath. You look at the $400,000 machine sitting on the quote. You look at the customer. You look at the bottle of baby oil.

And you ask yourself:

How badly do I want this deal?

Then Things Get Complicated

The owner tells you:

“I'll buy 40 machines.”

You immediately sit up. Forty machines.

That's not a deal. That's a career event. You start mentally calculating the commission. You are already imagining the new truck. Maybe a boat.

Maybe a slightly less depressing office chair.

Then the owner says:

“There's just one condition.”

Oh no.

Every salesperson knows those words. “What condition?”

He explains:

“I want you to marry my daughter.”

You look at the purchase order. Forty machines. You look at the daughter.

She has already started planning the wedding. You look at your manager.

Your manager is looking at you with the unmistakable expression of a man who has decided this is now your problem.

You quietly ask:

“Does she want to get married?”

The owner says:

“She says you're handsome.”

You have known this woman for eleven seconds. You have no idea whether you're handsome. You have no idea whether she's joking. You have no idea whether this is legal in the state you're standing in. You don't even know her last name.

But there are 40 machines on the table.

This is what sales trainers mean when they say:

“Overcome objections.”

And then you discover there is another complication. She has a very complicated relationship with gender and has told everyone she is a woman despite having been assigned male at birth.

You pause.

You look at the 40-machine order. You look at your manager.

Your manager looks at you. Nobody says anything.

Finally, you ask the only question that matters:

“Does she want the excavators with the standard bucket or the heavy-duty package?”

Because you're a salesperson. You don't judge. You qualify.

Perhaps You Should Consider Chickens

Another customer says:

“I'll take the machine, but I'm paying in chickens.”

You laugh.

He doesn't.

You laugh again.

He still doesn't.

He points to the trailer.

There are chickens.

A lot of chickens.

You ask:

“How many chickens?”

He says:

“Eight hundred thousand.”

Now you're thinking. Because the machine costs $175,000.

But you've also heard chicken prices are volatile.

You call your CFO.

He hangs up.

You call accounting.

They ask whether the chickens are an asset.

You say:

“I don't know. They're currently moving.”

At this point, you have two choices:

1. Explain that the dealership doesn't accept poultry as legal tender.

2. Figure out exactly what 800,000 chickens are worth.

That's sales.

You don't immediately say no.

You investigate.

Then There Is the Muffin

And finally, there is the customer who says:

“Before we finish the paperwork, my new wife made you a muffin.”

Wonderful. Free muffin. You smile. You accept it. Then you look at it.

There appear to be small pieces of something embedded inside.

You ask what they are.

She says:

“I like shiny.”

You become concerned. She smiles. The owner smiles. The salesperson standing next to you quietly leaves the room. You realize that what appears to be a blueberry may actually be a piece of glass.

You have reached the point in the sales process where the muffin has become a negotiating tactic.

You politely say:

“That looks delicious.”

You do not eat it. You are a salesperson, not a hostage.

Here's the Actual Lesson

This is where people misunderstand: “Do whatever it takes.”

It doesn't mean literally doing whatever the customer asks. It means don't be lazy.

Don't lose a $400,000 sale because you couldn't be bothered to answer an email. Don't lose a 40-machine opportunity because you didn't want to make a second trip.

Don't tell a customer:

“That's not my department.”

Find the department.

Don't tell them:

“I don't know.”

Find out.

Don't tell them:

“We've never done that before.”

Maybe you should. And when the customer says:

“I'll buy 40 machines if you can make this work…”

Listen.

There may be a legitimate obstacle hiding inside a ridiculous request.

Or there may be chickens. You need to know which one.

Sales Advice #103

Are you willing to do whatever it takes to close the deal?

No. You're willing to do whatever it takes that is legal, ethical, profitable, reasonably safe, and doesn't require you to marry someone you met eleven seconds ago.

You are willing to drive. You are willing to demonstrate. You are willing to negotiate. You are willing to solve problems. You are willing to make another phone call. You are willing to get the engineer involved. You are willing to stay late. You are willing to show up early. You are willing to find the answer.

You are even willing to investigate the market value of 800,000 chickens.

But you are not eating the muffin. That's not sales. That's a hostage situation.

And if somebody ever tells you:

“I'll buy 40 machines if you marry my daughter and accept payment in chickens…”

Do not walk away from that deal.

Get your sales manager. Get your CFO. Get legal. Get a poultry expert.

Get a marriage counselor. Hire a fake wife or get your real wife... Get somebody from HR. And for God's sake...

Get the muffin tested.

Because that's a $7 million opportunity. You don't walk away from $7 million.

You just don't eat anything.

Sales Advice #103: Sell hard. Solve problems. Know your limits. And never, under any circumstances, eat the muffin.